Montag, 13. Dezember 2010


So dear peeps,
 it's that time of the year again when we pork out on enough goodies to feed the Army of the People's Democratic Republic of China, drink enough booze to drown the QEII and give our collective best to bloat our livers to beachball size.
As they say in Angola, "Christmas cometh but once a year and makes us ill with Yuletide cheer blah blah blah."
And it's true.

I love Chrimbo but I'm tired after my weekend of seasonal cheer and I'm not feeling too Christmassy at all.
Whatever, here's a nice story for you to read and maybe prod you into the right frame of mind for Noel.

I'll see you on the other side, between Turkey time and Hogmanay
Reg :-)

Mittwoch, 10. November 2010


Is it really that long since my last post?
I have absolutely nothing to report I'm afraid.
Well, just one or two things.

My friend Vanessa gave my first chapter a going over that resembled a wrestling move. She pulled out so many points that I felt I was watching a magician extracting hankies from a child's ear! Dirty ones at that :-(
However, it was all very educational and I'm grateful to her for the Full Nelson writing class: it hurt but I learnt a lot :-)
Check out her Blog at:
  ... and learn some stuff ;-)

My current project should really be my War and Peace meet Jurassic Park thing but it isn't.
I feel compelled to scribble down a ditty about my thoughts on my ever increasing homesickness and coming to terms with it.
Sounds boring?
Fair one but it's my Blog so I'll do what I want to :-)
Actually I'll be posting it on the Boy from the Bay site but the link will be posted here so don't worry, (not that anyone was but it's nice to kid myself now and then).

Right, for the time being that's it.
Still nothing... wait a cotton picking moment here!
How could I forget??

Tee, darling Tee of Erasmus fame, has placed my Short Story page as a link to the Night Reading website. People read chapters, poems, etc. and vote on them. If enough people give their thumb print for a piece of work and it reaches the top spot it goes into print.
Nothing will come of it but it's the thought that counts, eh?
Thanks Tee.

Right, that really is it now.
If "Division" reaches publication tomorrow I'll let you know but until then the next post will be a link to my new venture.

Tara Peeps :-)

Sonntag, 24. Oktober 2010

Short Stories page.

Short Stories page.

I've added a short stories page to the Blog so anyone who feels the need to read my work, can. No real reason, it's just that I wrote them and am proud of them, so why not put them out there.

A couple have been published but I thought I'd put the ones that hadn't up as well because:

a.) It's free.

b.) I can.

c.) There is no c because a and b are so good.

So now you know peeps.

Here's the link to go straight there if you're reading this on Facebook or MySpace:

Short Stories

I suggest copying and pasting one story at a time onto a Word document and printing it off, it's far easier on the eye than reading from the screen, believe me.

Take it easy.

Reg :-)

Dienstag, 12. Oktober 2010


Off home to Wales for a week, can't wait.

Tee, have a decko at the "Tasters" page and tell me if you're happy with it please.

See you all again.
Reg :-)

Montag, 11. Oktober 2010

Simon Dallimore and the Fountain of Youth

Simon Dallimore and the Fountain of Youth

So, a while a go I put down that I was involved in a secret project so classified it made the security precautions for the Manhattan Project look like a doorman at the local village police station open day.

Well the time is now ripe to TELL ALL !!! (Gasp, shock, horror!)

A mate of mine celebrated his 40th birthday on the weekend and my present was a book.
The book was written by myself and published on, (who did a bloody good job) and then given to him on the night.

The story involves my mate Simon Dallimore and his imaginary adventures when he accidentally stumbles on a genie and the Fountain of Youth. Packed full of bad language, bad jokes and bad taste, I made every effort to be as politically incorrect as possible and to include as many of his mates in the story as I could.

It's only 40 pages but it pleased Simon so that's all that counts.

If you're interested, go to this link and have a decko. There's also a teaser on there, (Vorschau in German).

Click on it, under the picture of the cover, and you can have a read of the first couple of pages.


If you decide to part with your pennies and buy one, I can assure you that the profit margin on this for me is cents, literally; I simply rounded up the minimum price that demanded so it'd be a nice round figure, instead of the €7.44 they wanted.
There's also a hardback version but that was only because I wanted Simon to have a book that will last for years and go on to be a family heirloom... yeah right ;-)

So now you know peeps.
Have a browse and enjoy, lol
Reg :-)

Freitag, 8. Oktober 2010

Chapter One

So peeps,
 As you all know, I've never really taken myself too seriously and though I love writing, (some would say TRYING to write) I realise I'm limited in my capabilities.
Anyway, I've decided to put the first chapter of Division up for your perusal, (enjoyment, disdain, mockery, take your pick) and to Hell with it.

Division of the Damned Chapter 1

I'm getting myself sorted for a new project, one I NEED to see through; so Division is sort of in the back seat now. Well more like in the boot actually.

As the Russians say, "Support of failure leads only to failure" so I'm moving on.

Feel free to comment on the first chapter, all opinions taken and promptly ignored if they're bad, lol.

All the best.
Reg :-/
PS The Russians don't actually say that, I made it up.

Dienstag, 28. September 2010

The Eye of Erasmus

My friend Teresa's book, "The Eye of Ersamus" is now on Amazon to buy and it's a lot cheaper than what I paid for it I can tell you. If you live in Germany, go to this link to buy it:

The Eye Erasmus

And if you live in Britain, try this one:

The Eye of Erasmus in Britain

See what I did with the links there?
Good aren't I?

I have nothing else to offer by way of news because I have done nothing.
I know, I hate myself.
Reg :-/

Montag, 6. September 2010

Boring aren’t I?

This weekend I decided to send a short story off to House of Horror for an anthology they’re planning to print called, “Tales of a woman scorned”.

My contribution is about a businessman sex tourist who returns from Thailand with a dark secret, a secret that catches up with him and ultimately drives him to commit suicide.

I hope it’s picked up, it’d be nice to be in an anthology… in fact, it’d be nice to be in anything ;-)

And that’s about it, actually.

Boring aren’t I?


Reg :-/

Freitag, 27. August 2010

You can lead a horse to water

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him wash the pots.

Another rejection sticks a red hot poker up my jacksey and twists. I was kinda holding a candle for these guys too, (I think I should stop involving myself emotionally in every publishing house I write to, it's probably for the better.).

Pill Hill Press, those flagrant heart breakers, are a publishing house that specialises in horror and they sent me this lovely Dear John, I mean rejection email:

"Dear Richard,

Thank you for your submission. Your novel sounds interesting, and starts off very well, but I don't believe it is a good fit for Pill Hill Press at the moment.

I wish you the best of luck in finding a home for this novel soon.


******* *******

As dismissals go it isn't a bad one.

They were quick to reply, only took a week and you have to admit it, it’s very polite.
But I’m still gutted. They’re a good firm with a good name and I wanted to be there with them, building something special, getting to know and care for them. Maybe share a picnic and drink a glass of wine together, or walk hand in hand along an auburn sunset beach… Goddamit, I loved you guys and you threw me away like a used sheep!!

I feel so exploited and dirty. ;-)
No I don't, I don't know why but I'm hyper at the moment. Must have been the great practise we had tonight. Tomorrow I'll be crying in my porridge.

Ah well, back to the drawing board.

I’ve had an idea about simply making a website and selling it as a download; then spending all my spare time trawling the social websites, (Facebook and MySpace) and just making friends with people on the off chance they download it.

E-books are big now in America, apparently… so all the experts are telling me… whatever, at least it’ll be out there.

Set the website up with a Paypal and credit card link, open a new account at the Post, (free banking in Germany) and just let those pennies roll in.

I can imagine the scene now:

“Oh, wow, who’s this Division of the Damned guy that wants to be my friend on Facebook? Oh neat, it’s a book about vampires in the Third Reich and it’s only a 3 Dollar download! Cool I’ll just do it, what’s a couple of Bucks to a guy like me? I know, I’ll tell all my friends blah blah blah”

And lo and behold, Gingerboy is a Dollar thrice richer… until the taxman hear’s about it.

What do you think of my idea?
Answers on a postcard to:

Reg Jones.

“A Dollar Thrice Richer”

Salzgitter Institute for the Criminally Insane

Jolly Old Germany.

Bah. I wish Pill Hill had said yes :-(


Mittwoch, 25. August 2010


All I can say is that it's a great medium towards publication but my God it's expensive!
For a 40 page hard cover book they wanted €10!
But that's not the end of it, another 10 on top of that for postage!!!

Whatever, it's for a friend so stop whining Jones...

Still in the middle of changing "Division" over to the Standard Manuscript Formula thing. It's a pain in the botty but I should have thought about it when I first started writing... so once again, stop whining Jones.

Right, I'm out of here.

Must get myself ready to visit a friend of mine who's had open heart surgery. One of the fittest guys I knew in the army, could run like a greyhound on speed and now he can hardly walk 100 meters without needing a break, poor bloke.
Hopefully he'll make a good recovery after all this but it's still not right.

Personally I blame the Gulf War syndrome that the British Government insist doesn't exist.
Over half of my mates that went to the 1st Gulf War have some sort of debilitating health condition.

There must be something foul there, surely?

Reg :-/

Sonntag, 22. August 2010

Shush, it's a secret #2

Well, it's written.
Just need to change it 1000 times now and then proof read it.

I've also started changing my Div. of the Damned manuscript to Standard Manuscript Format, ( Standard manuscript Format ) something I wish I had known about whilst writing the damn thing... Doh!
It's a time consuming process but one which will no doubt reap huge rewards in the not too distant future, (hope springs eternal)

Right, back to the keyboards.

Have a Great weekend.
Reg. :-)

Mittwoch, 18. August 2010

Shush, it’s a secret.

Well, sorry that I’ve been away for so long but I’ve had so much on recently and it’s all been of a creative nature.

Firstly, and this is what has taken up my time, I’ve been writing. However, what I’ve been writing is a state secret and will only be indulged after its publication.

Secondly, on a more creative-drinking nature, I was in Britain for a couple of days, St. Neotts by Cambridge to be precise. We had a great time and I plan to write something on my Boy from the Bay Blog about it soon.

Right, that’s it really.

The usual cheese board of inanity ad infinitum, ad nauseum, (I’ve sent a short story off, I still haven’t heard anything about the manuscript, blah blah fishcakes) stands as its expected to stand but hopefully I’ll find something out for the next entry.

Right, catch you again.


Donnerstag, 5. August 2010

Blog Construction and four days in Blighty.

Reading this Blog, one might draw the conclusions that

1.) I'm a computer whiz for building extra pages into it, setting the background, arranging the layout etc. etc, and

2.) I have a lot of time on my hands to experiment and do this.

Both suppositions would be hopelessly wrong.

I mean so wrong that they make Neville Chamberlain’s, “Peace in our time” speech look like an inside trader’s tip.

No, I have a friend who did this for me.


Well you shouldn’t be; the fact is that though you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to actually design your Blog, you do have to have a lot of time to work out how to do it.

Richard Grayling from Struggling Authors works in IT and he knows the ropes, I mean he REALLY knows the ropes.
What would have taken me the best part of a month to work out took the Bill Gates of the would-be writer world approx three hours, and the results speak for themselves.

So, imagine the scene. You have a notion that you would like to try your hand at Blogging but the technical how’s and do’s are a tad over your head, what do you do?

For a paltry 20 of your English Pounds Richard can whip you up a Blog you could take home to mother for tea and crumpets, AND GET AN INVITE TO COME AGAIN!!

Check out his offer here:

And remember, you heard it here first… I always wanted to say that.

The second part of the title refers to my little sortie over the next couple of days. I'm off to Blighty for the CAMRA Real Ale festival at Earl's Court. Wish me luck, this could get nasty...

Reg :-P

Dienstag, 3. August 2010

Tee's book has arrived!

So it’s here!

After much awaiting and a'tapping of feet, the postman finally delivered my copy of „The Eye of Erasmus“.
And it's VERY nice.

This is the splurge on the back of the book:

The Eye of Erasmus’ is the first of a series of four inter-related fables about time and fate, told in Teresa Geering’s characteristic hypnotic prose.

It tells of Erasmus, a baby born during a thunder storm, who is clearly destined to be special and, initially, especially obnoxious with his flashing black eyes and haughty ways, until he finds love.

The trouble is that the girl literally ‘of his dreams’ hasn’t actually been born yet.

No problem …… Oh, but there is ……. Danger lurks ……..

Comment by George Polley, author of ‘The Old Man & The Monkey’ and ‘Grandfather & The Raven’: “‘The Eye of Erasmus’ is different from the books that I usually read. When I received a review copy, I wasn’t sure. Now I am. It is a tale gently and beautifully told. Like the Harry Potter novels, it is a book that readers of all ages will enjoy. It is definitely a book that I will read again and again.

So daddle off little one to

And snap up a copy

Take it easy.

Reg. ;-)

Mittwoch, 28. Juli 2010

Competition time!

My good friend and writing odyssey companion, Teresa Geering has recently given an interview for my favourite scribbler's site, Struggling Authors .
In it she describes her work and gives us a small window into the emotions and movements of a newly published author.

She has also set a competition question, (defo not a brain zapper) for a free, autographed copy of her book, The Eye of Erasmus.
Check it out at: and try the comp for a free book.

Take it easy peeps :-)

Donnerstag, 22. Juli 2010

Buy this story !!!

So sorry I’ve been neglecting the Blog(s) but I really have been that busy.

Anyway, I won’t waste too much of your time, I just wanted to post the address of the magazine with my story, “The Hot gates” in it.
Go to :

And fill your boots!

My friend Tee is setting the world alight with her new book. I read a review this morning that made it out to be the New Testament. I still haven’t moved my butt to get it yet but it’s defo on the horizon of books to buy. If you fancy a bit of Harry Potter-like magic, mythological romance and witchcraft, go to.

And once again, fill your boots!

You may or may not have noticed that the Blog has a new outlay, which means I could cancel my website, (which I never use) and thus save a wad of dosh.

Thanks once again to Richard for a GREAT, no FANDABIDOZY effort.

Right, back to the shed, (yes, that one I still haven’t finished yet…)

Reg :-)

Dienstag, 13. Juli 2010

Rejection... again.

Dear Reg,

Thank you for your patience in waiting to hear from us regarding your novel submission to Loon in Balloon.

We've now been able to review your submission. I'm sorry to say that we won't be pursuing it for publication. This does not mean that it's not good enough for publication elsewhere. The fiction world is incredibly competitive; there are so many talented writers and good story ideas. It's an issue of overall fit with our niche.
We would like to thank you, very much, for the opportunity to take a look at your work, and for thinking of us.

We wish you all the best with your publication plans.

Ah well, another one bites the dust.
Doesn't fit into their niche, well it's a fair one.
Far better than, "We hate you, we hate your work, you suck", dontcha think?
Whatever, it's already off to my next vict... I mean target.

Take it easy.
Reg :-)

Mittwoch, 7. Juli 2010

The Hot Gates.

So Dears,

The 300 vampire story, “The Hot Gates” is in print!

I’ve asked Coral, the editor in chief for an address so I can put it up here, there and everywhere.

This is the splurge I used for the covering letter while I collected my rejections for it:

The film, "300" recently broke the Box Office with its tale of Leonidas and his brave Spartans, who stood against the might of Xerxes and the whole Persian Empire. The name Leonidas is now synonymous with self sacrifice and bravery; whereas Xerxes tends to be seen as a cruel, debauched and somewhat vain tyrant. I thought it would be a novel twist to the tale if the roles of these two leaders were reversed in some way.

In my short story, "The Hot Gates", Xerxes is a hero who has gathered an army to take on the Vampires of Sparta. Using the original characters and taking only a breath of artistic liberty, I drew on the legendary battle as my blueprint to tell the tale of the destruction of Leonidas and his bloodsucking 300.

Well, there you have it, my first go at marketing a story, lol. 10,500 words of Hellenic horror and Persian pluck!

Whatever, when I have the address I’ll put it up here and if you’re interested you can purchase one.

Still heard nothing from the publishers about my manuscript, but we’ve been there before and know that it means nothing…

Right, that’s it for now.

Catch you around.


Montag, 28. Juni 2010

World Cup agony and a nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse.

The Death feast rocked!

No, really, I had a ball, spoilt only by the 3 day hangover I went through after it.

I’m too old for this now, I can’t do it like I used to anymore.


I’ve still not heard from the publishers I sent my covering letter to, but then again, it is only 3 weeks.

Patience is a virtue Reggie.

I was looking at another address to send the manuscript off to and came across a publishing outfit that require a short biography along with the usual bumf.

A biography?

What does one write in a biography, apart from the obvious tripe?

Well, apparently one divulges all the printing triumphs one has collected over the years and the writing courses one has attended and resulting diplomas achieved.

Unfortunately my portfolio on both accounts is both slim (as in non existent), dusty, (as in the sum of my triumphs are but dust) or already consigned to the cyber graveyard; so what was I supposed to write?

It was a puzzler and no mistake.

After much thought and pondering, I just binned the idea. I don’t know what would be more demoralising, the paucity of entries in my biography or the rejection letter thus resulting?

Now onto a more cheerier note.

My blogging buddy, fellow Struggling Author forum scribbler and literary confidant, Teresa Geering, (Tee) has made publication!


The Eye of Erasmus is now in print and available to buy at all good suppliers. Check out this trailer:

Well done Tee, I am SO glad for you. After all those years of trying you finally made it.

Good on yer.

Speaking of Struggling Authors, Richard from the web site has offered to spruce up my Blog with some extra pages and the like.

So, bearing in mind that I am an absolute duffer at computer stuff, I graciously took his very kind offer up.

So who knows, perhaps the next bog will be accompanied by extra pages?

Wouldn’t that just ROCK, dear reader?

Yes Reg, it would.

Have a good one.


PS. Doesn’t that just so “Not Rock” with England’s dismal effort at the World Cup?

I thought so too.

Dienstag, 8. Juni 2010

Doomed, we’re all doomed and the Death Feast!

Doomed, we’re all doomed and the Death Feast!

It is with heavy heart and humble bearing that I have to report yet another failure to reach the seemingly unattainable goal of publication. No reason given this time, just a plain, “We hate you, we hate your work.” email that crumbled my prior confidence and self esteem quicker than an awkward premature ejaculation.

The whole question of whether I want to go ahead with a POD outfit is now moot, but to be honest, I wasn’t too happy with the idea in the first place. It all seemed so threadbare and “off the cuff” and my reservations would only have increased if I had put pen to paper with them.

Perhaps I will one day, due to my massive lack of talent, have to move as my ability takes me, (i.e. self publishing… Bah!) But at this moment in time I don’t feel good about it.

Whatever, the dream is dust for the time being and the workhouse calls…

On a more buoyant note I’m off to the Death Feast tomorrow. This was the festival which involved me scribbling a couple of band write-ups for the organiser in return for a VIP pass for the 3 day event.

VIP pass sounds all very red carpet but it basically means I’ll just get drunk with the bands after they’ve played and in the spirit of Dionysus swear undying devotion to a couple of the drummers. I’m quite sentimental when I’ve had a few I’m afraid.

So I’ll be drowning my failings and regaining my denial about my literary gift with Dani, (our organiser and Darling of the Death Feast), Holger, Ads, Carsten, Jan, Bjorn, Connie and a whole army of long haired weekend anarchists. Check it out:

So that’s that then.

Needless to say the covering letter, synopsis and first three chapters are away already; so the dream does live on, all be it now among the ruins and shards of my dashed hubris.

Have a good time peeps, I will.

Catch you al next weeks

Reg :-)

Donnerstag, 3. Juni 2010

Dienstag, 1. Juni 2010

Never regret anything, because at one point you wanted it.

So it’s like this...

Richard from Struggling Authors mentioned a publishing house that wanted to make contact with, err, struggling authors, (stop groaning). I checked their website out and although they didn’t mention horror in their list of desired material, they didn’t actually write that they don’t want horror either.

So I sent my synopsis and  first three chapters off with a nice covering letter and a sack of aspirations that would smother a blue whale.

After a couple of days I went back to the website, (as I often do when I’m planning my all-conquering invasion of the literary world) and noticed that they’re a Print on Demand publisher.

“Oh” I said to myself whilst banging my head against the computer table. “Not good.”

I know I’ve explained Print on Demand before but for the untried it goes like this. A traditional publishing house takes on a book, prints lots of them and distributes them to bookshops. It has a large initial financial outlay but also has the advantage of being able to get the books on the shelves where the people can see them and buy them on the spot. This obviously helps with marketing and advertising. This is the tried and tested route of most publishing houses and if a writer is lucky enough to be picked up by this sort of operation, then good on him/her/it.

Print on Demand is, as the name implies a system whereby the author sends his work in which is then stored on a massive data base. If and when a customer wishes to purchase said book it is printed on the spot and whisked off in the post. The advantages of this are that there is no initial financial outlay, no wastage in materials and storage area and no worries about the size of the word count, (the bigger the word count, the thicker the book, the fewer books fit on shelves). The disadvantages of this are many though. Most POD authors do it off their own back and don’t always have access to good channels of distribution or marketing contacts. So one might have a good book but who is going to have access to buy it outside of the family and friends? Also, if a mistake is made in the original draft with spelling or grammar, or God forbid with formatting, then this only comes to the fore AFTER the book is printed.

If I were to write a small book as a gift for someone, it would be an ideal present, but to build an empire with it has its limitations.

So, as you can imagine, I was subtly disappointed at this and also at my haste to send it off without my usual rigorous tests and checks. Then I noticed this line:

“We are a traditional publishing venture who will undertake all the necessary editorial, design, production and marketing to see a title through to publication and beyond.”


Is this a POD publisher who takes it a step further? Traditional to me means, “Take book on, print book, sell in bookshop”, so how can a POD publisher be traditional? What exactly is their set up?

I don’t know, they still haven’t said yes or no to the full manuscript yet so I am jumping the gun a bit here.

Whatever, if they do want to run with a horror story, (and remember, they didn’t actually write that they don’t want horror stories) and they want more of me, then there’ll be some pretty searching questions going in, I can tell you.

Take it easy.

Reg ;-)

Donnerstag, 20. Mai 2010


So it's off again, this time a bit more closer to home than Australia.
Fingers crossed, eh?
Reg :-)

Mittwoch, 19. Mai 2010

Other Blog stuff.

Shattered dreams…

Shattered dreams…

No, this isn’t a reflection on that annoyingly greasy 80’s boy band, „Johnny Hates Jazz“. The title refers to the state of my hopes and aspirations after my latest rejection.

Severed press sent me a very nice email which stopped dead my daydreaming about winning the Nobel literary prize.

It went like this:

Dear Richard,
Thank you for your patience while we reviewed Division of the Damned. Unfortunately we have decided not to move forward with publication. If it is any consolation, it was a very close call and basically came down to small press finances rather than a reflection on the quality of your work. We wish you the best with your quest to be published.

Kind Regards

Severed have played it very fairly and though failure to be published is a heavy weight on my natural good humour, they did soften the blow by wording the rejection diplomatically. I know a refusal is a refusal but to the connoisseur of the written rebuff, this is a nice one. I’m good with it… sort of. Well as good as one can be when your life’s work has been told it doesn’t make the grade…

OK, I’ll stop with the dramatics, lol.

Anyway, it prompted me to write an email back saying thanks for giving Division the time of day and wishing the Socceroos good luck for the upcoming World Cup, (Severed is an Australian publishing house).

So it’s back to the drawing board… well, not entirely…
Being about as optimistic about Division’s chances as a turkey is of seeing the New Year in, I decided to look for the next address to send it to while it was “Antipodean”, as it were.
Duly found and saved in my favourites, I will the morrow be formatting the manuscript to their desired wants and needs and whizzing it off like a Frisbee in a whirlwind.

Right, next topic.

The interview on Struggling Authors is up and the link is:

The link is to the homepage so you can also check out the poem on the right of the page as well… I know you’ve seen it a 1000 times already but bear with my bruised and cowed ego, he needs rebuilding. I'm not as bullet proof as I try to make out, ask my wife and kids, they think I'm soft as sh... butter.

I should be able to handle rejection by now; I mean I’m a chuffin’ expert at it I’ve seen so many, so why do I take it so seriously?

I don’t know either, grow up Jones.

Speaking of a person who hasn’t been rejected in her life, Tee is off and running with Night Publishing. They want to print all three of her books.

Good on yer Teester, go for it my girl!!!

Right, that’s it now, I’m off.

Mittwoch, 12. Mai 2010

Father's Day

This is from my other blog.
No news on the publisher yet but then again, it has only been about two weeks.

Struggling Authors have published my interview with Ian Weaver and when the link is finalised I'll put it up here.
The Sunday Times is doing an article on Struggling Authors so when I find out where it is online I'll put it here as well.
That's all for now folks
Reg :-)

Montag, 10. Mai 2010



Just finished a write up for the Technical Death Metal band, Necrophagist.
Three times I had to write it up because the boss of the Festival it was written for didn’t like it. Ah well, as payment I receive a VIP backstage pass so it’ll be worth the effort.

The problem is that my German grammar, although not useless, is not good either. So I would write something up and then ask a German speaker/writer to give it a once over.

Other than that, I have nothing to add.

Oh yes I have, I am now in possession of a second Blog. Not sure what I want to do with it, to be honest. I opened an account so I could read Blog I follow and suddenly I was the proud owner of a brand new Blog.

So, is the name to type in if you wish to have a read.

Prepare yourself for a disappointment though, lol.

Right, that’s it now.

I’m off.



Montag, 3. Mai 2010

POD and an interview.

POD and an interview.

My blogging buddy Tee, (Teresa Geering) has been offered a chance to publish her book, “The Eye of Erasmus“. The company interested are called Night Publishing and have a very positive mission statement, “Good books must be published”.
I’m over the moon for The Teester and I hope it all goes down well but I do have a couple of crungles about Print on Demand publishing.

Print on Demand is exactly what its name implies. You send your manuscript off to the POD Company and they hold it in data form until somebody orders the book. A copy is then printed and sent off to the person who ordered it. have their own POD press and it’s slowly making headway into being accepted as a viable form of publication.


If you’re pants at formatting and editing your work you could end up with book that borders on the laughable; sort of like the Quasimodo-meets-Monty Python of the literary world. Spelling mistakes, chapters finishing and ending on the same page, pictures not reproduced properly due to the wrong format being used, blah blah fishcakes, I could go on.
So, although it would be nice to think of it as an easy way to publication and literary success, it does have its pitfalls and dangers.

In fact, apart from its accessibility, the only other positive with POD is the royalties, which are around 70% to the author, (compared to about 40% when one publishes with a traditional publisher).

Personally, I want to continue with the tried, tested and condemned method of, “write book, send book, receive rejection, ad infinitum, ad nauseum…” until one day a miracle happens and you’re accepted :-)

On a slightly different note, (actually, it couldn’t be more different if you put a scarf on it, shoved it in a Tardis and called it The Doctor) I’ve done my first interview.
It would be nice to write that because I’m so interesting it was I who was interviewed but alas, as grey and monotonous as I am, I was the interviewer. :-(

The website, Struggling suggested I interview a very nice chap called Ian Weaver. Ian is an ex Navy and Air Force Tornado navigator who had a very bad accident and was medically discharged from the armed forces. A head on crash with another Tornado left him mangled and bed ridden for a very long time, (about a year I think, I’ll have to check the website). Now this would tempt most people to wallow in the easy misery of their self pity and misfortune until Gabriel boogies on his bugle; but not so Ian. He used his experiences in the military air wing to write a book which has been published on Paul Mould Publishing.

A very approachable guy, when the interview comes up I’ll pop it on the Blog.

Right, that’s it for now, off to peel some spuds and wash up.

A Welshman’s work is never done…

Reg 

Dienstag, 27. April 2010

Chris Kuzneski : an inspiration.

Chris Kuzneski is an author who found success the hard way.

I personally haven’t read any of his work but a good friend of mine, (Adam, the guitarist from Gods Will Be Done) is a fan and has read all his work to date.

His latest release is called, “The Plantation” and at the front of the book Mr. Kuzneski writes a little about how he was, “discovered”. Ads saw it and immediately thought of me, the brainless bottom dweller, inanely pursuing the hooked lure of literary success… :-(

He typed it out and sent it to me and I’m glad he did.

So a hearty “Thanks” to Ads with a manly handshake to boot.
Have a read, it’s very interesting and extremely inspirational, well I though it was.

Take it away Chris:

The Plantation by Chris Kuzneski

A few years ago I nearly gave up. Like many writers, I had a tough time breaking into the industry. Agents ignored me, and publishers rejected me. My life was like a bad country song, only I didn’t have a mullet. To make matters worse, my savings were almost gone, which meant I was this close to doing something desperate – like getting a “real” job.

Back then, the only thing that stood between me and the workforce was a novel I had just written called The Plantation. It featured two main characters that I really liked, Jonathon Payne & David Jones, and the plot was pretty original. In hindsight, maybe too original. At least that’s what I was told in several rejection letters. Editors and agents loved the book but weren’t sure how to market it. And in the book business, that’s the kiss of death. No marketing means no sales. No sales means no book deal. And no book deal means it’s time to search the want ads.

Thankfully, I cam across an article about a company called Universe and a new type of technology called print on demand. Simply put, copies of a book could be printed after a book order was placed, thereby eliminating large print runs that a struggling write like myself couldn’t afford. Suddenly I had the freedom to print a small quantity of books that I could sell to family and friends. And if I was real lucky, total strangers would buy it, too.

Long story short, my plan worked. I sold enough copies out of the trunk of my car to ward off starvation, plus it gave me the confidence to take things one step further. I figured since readers loved The Plantation, maybe writers would as well. So I wrote letters to many of my favourite authors, asking if they’d be interested in reading my book. Incredibly, most of them agreed to help, and before long they were writing letters to me, telling me how much they enjoyed it. And I’m talking about famous authors like James Patterson, Nelson DeMille, Douglas Preston, and James Rollins. Each of them willing to endorse my novel.

Seriously, how cool is that?

Anyway, even though I had their support, I still didn’t have a publisher. But all of that changed when Scott Miller, an agent at Trident Media, bought one of my self-published copies in a Philadelphia bookstore and liked it enough to email me. At the time I had a folder with more than one hundred rejection letters, yet the best young agent in the business bought my book and contacted me. Not only did I get a royalty from this purchase, but I also got the perfect agent.

By then I had written my next novel, a religious thriller called Sign of the Cross, which Scott wanted to shop immediately since The Da Vinci Code was dominating the bestseller lists at that time. It proved to be a wise decision. Within months, he had sold the American rights to Berkley and the foreign rights to more than fifteen publishers around the world.

Finally, I could throw away the want ads.

Next up was Sword of God, which became my second international bestseller. In my mind, it was book three in the Payne/Jones universe. But to most readers, it was only book two because The Plantation was never released by a major publisher.

That is until now.

Several years have passed since I wrote the first draft of The Plantation. The original version was much longer and contained several mistakes that rookie writers tend to make. With the help of my good friend Ian Harper, I tried to eliminate as many of those as possible – while keeping the plot intact. After a lot of tweaking, I’m thrilled with the final product.

To me, The Plantation is my first love. It’s the book that allowed me to write for a living.

Hopefully, you’ll fall in love with it, too.

So there you go, good wasn’t it?
Have a good one.

Reg :-)

Freitag, 23. April 2010

The Story so far…

The Story so far…

You might remember my little rant about publishing houses not sending rejection letters/slips/pieces of used tissue out any more because of the volume of traffic they receive and the cost in time and energy it takes in replying to all of them.

Well the other day I received a nice email asking me for the manuscript for “Division”!!!

Gasp, shock, deep joy!

Yes, that very same publishing house that suffered the full force of my vitriolic broadside actually showed some interest. I’m to deny any other publishing house the unbridled pleasure of scanning my mighty tome for a whole eight weeks until they’ve read it through and I hear from them to say they don’t want it (sadness) or do, (happiness).

So that’s that then.

Nothing more really to report except to wish you all a very merry Christmas… I mean have a good weekend.

I’m on nightshift until 6 O’clock Monday morning but it’s OK, I’ve got bills to pay and a family to feed so I can live with it.

Have a good one.


Sonntag, 18. April 2010

Yesterday and the busiest bunny in the warren.

So having just finished my rewrite of “Division” only five minutes ago, I’m wondering what to do now?

Another short story perhaps or back to the MS I started in Spain?

I’m tending towards the Spain story actually. It would be nice to get into a big operation again, create my own little world where I make the rules, lay down the law, say what’s to be done, be the Big Cheese, the Numero Uno, the Number One, the Boss Man… because it’s all so far removed from my family life, believe me.

So that’s what I’m going to do.


After a lot of surfing the net for information about illustrated stories, I have come to the conclusion that nobody prints them anymore. Children’s books and “How to fix things” type of books are a go; novels with pictures a no-no.
A graphic novel, A La Frank Miller style would probably be snapped up like a dead chicken in a Gulag but illustrated stories are not, “In”. Sadly.

If I, and it’s a very big IF here, if I were a famous author I could probably force the issue through to a publication on the strength of my name alone. However, seeing as I hold as much weight in the publishing world as I do in the United Nations, I guess I’ll have to pass on the idea.

Whatever, it’s a good story and I’ll simply send it off as a novelette and see what happens. Or perhaps Andreas would want to make a graphic novel out of it?

It’d be a lot of work though and I can’t see it somehow. Whatever, flexibility is my middle name, (OK, Rhys is my middle name but flexibility would be cool if it was).

I Facebooked a bit with my mate (Old Git) Joey yesterday too. A long time ago, after far too many drinks, we spoke about doing a project together. Joey is a photographer and the idea was that he takes some photos of Druidic type things, (yes, you read that right, we were FACED), Druidic type things and I write the text, and God help us maybe even try my hand at poetry.

We’d make it into a coffee table book and market it on Create Space, the Amazon Print on Demand firm.

So we’d have a nice book for Joey to show his customers, it’d be on Amazon for me to put on my CV and I’d get a free passport photo next time I need one… sounds fair to me, lol.

Anyway, the Druid idea, in the cold light of sobriety, doesn’t appeal to the Joester anymore, and neither does it to me. I mean I am sober for Tarby’s sake! However he wants to do something artistic with me and it doesn’t involve nudity or bodily fluids… hopefully. So let’s wait and see.

I’m up for it now that the illustrated story has all but fallen through with Andreas.

Also, yesterday, as I knew I would be finished with “Division” today and I’m a busy bunny, I sent out a query letter with the first 3 chapters and a synopsis to Severed Press. Their policy is that if I don’t hear from them in 20 days I can forget it.

What’s all that about, eh? I’d sooner have a rejection slip full of obscene reference to toilets, human waste and my talent than hear nothing. It’s like having a younger brother missing in action; there’s no closure on the issue.

Whatever happened to common courtesy?

Well, actually, I can understand it. The market is saturated nowadays with bored housewives, industrious pensioners, unemployed academics who all own a computer with MS Word on.

Anyone can write a book and send it off and a lot of people do. Hence the impersonal approach to rejection nowadays. It’s along the lines of supply and demand. If nobody wrote books then the author would be treated like royalty, however EVERYBODY’S writing and sending their work off so the author is reduced to the ranks of the Great Unwashed.

Well, that’s my take on it anyway, and that’s why I’m grateful for any minor literary triumph that stumbles over me.
Right, I’m off. We’re doing a barby today and I’m starving.

Reg :-)

Mittwoch, 14. April 2010

€377 for some drum pedals

I haven’t achieved anything lately. I wanted to do so much but fatigue, kids, work and laziness just seemed to get in the way.
I have, however, purchased a set of pedals for my drums.

I know, I know, it has nothing to do with my writing but I’m desperate here so bear with me.

The make is Tama and they’re the legendary Iron Cobra Rolling Glide model. €377, which is a good price for a good double foot machine and I’m very happy about it.

The double foot machine that I have now is old and stiffer than an overdose of Viagra. They work but they make me work too which sort of takes the edge of any speed I might achieve.

I hummed and harred for a while, (like 2 years) because of the price but then I just went for it and now I’m glad I did. Here they are, my proud beauties:

So now you know two things peeps:

1.) Writing isn’t my only pastime.

2.) I’m not tight fisted but I like to see if I can find a bargain before I splash out, which is why I waited 2 years before buying them.

Take it easy.

Reg :-)

Montag, 5. April 2010

House of Horror use my short story. Wahay!!

There’s me, writing that I’ve nothing to report and lo and behold I’ve found I’m in print again!

Well, actually I’m on a short story website but it’s all semantics when it comes out in the wash.
Go to this link and have a read:

And feel free to tell me what you think peeps.

As promised, I’m going to start on my rewrite today. However, after finding my efforts being so proudly broadcast on the electric interweb thing, I’m going to immerse myself into the world of the vampire and 3rd Reich with a passion of obsessive-compulsive proportions.

Wahay, Nobel Literary prize, here I come!

(Optimism always was my forte. I’m in a good mood now, does it show?)

Reg :-)

Happy Easter peeps!

Happy Easter peeps!

I’m afraid I have absolutely nothing to report on the writing front, (again). I haven’t even looked at Division, which is both bogus and sad. However, I will tomorrow.

I want to get this rewrite out of the way so I can start on the other book; but you know that anyway.

This Easter weekend was busy, busy and busy. I worked late shift the last few days but was also invited to a couple of parties, which went on until well into the wee hours.

So now I’m as burnt out as a roasted snail!

However, that just highlights the down side to working shifts. The money’s good, no mistake there, but the work to life ratio suffers abnormally when your days off are, say, Monday and Tuesday. This whole weekend I was away from 13.30 hours to 22.30 hours which means my kids didn’t see me in the afternoons, (and how they cheered).

Whatever, it can’t be helped, the money’s important at the moment and that’s that.

Right, I’m wibbling again aren’t I?


Reg. ;-)

Mittwoch, 24. März 2010

Old ground and scary movies.

I know that I’ve mentioned my lethargy in regards to this shortening of my manuscript before, but I’ve nothing to report so I’ll come back to it.

I’ll be honest; I haven’t done a thing since my last post.
There, I’ve said it. It’s out now and I can’t take it back.

However, I do feel the tug of motivation nudging me to a fresh start again, so that’s got to be a good thing, right?

After I’ve finished it I’ll get back to the story I began all those many moons ago in Spain (!).
It’s a great idea and I find it hard to believe that I dried up on it so quickly, (It’s only 15000 words at the moment). The idea has so much to offer and blah blah fishcakes, I’m going back to finish it.

This time, however, it’ll be finished inside of 90,000 words and that’s even if the story hasn’t reached the grand finale, lol.
90,000 and that’s it, take it or leave it Mr. Publishing House.

The Ring is on TV at the moment. It’s probably one of the scariest movies ever made. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to watch it on my own but what can I do? Wake one of the kids up to sit with me?
Nah, I’ll man it out… gulp.

Right, enough twaddle, I’m off.
Reg :-)

Dienstag, 16. März 2010

In Print and famous… well one of them is right.

Sorry I’ve been away so long but I’ve been very busy surfing to find a market for an illustrated story of around 10,500 words.
t isn’t as easy as one would think.
If I were to need a publishing house for a graphic novel, a la Frank Miller style, I wouldn’t have a problem. The market is full of printers of comic books and their like and Andreas, (my half Spanish, half Dutch artist friend) is such a talented illustrator that I know we would be able sell it. However, the idea we had was to write a story and illustrate each page with a picture corresponding to the action described; and that seems to be the problem. Nobody prints or circulates these types of stories anymore.


The story is down and Andreas has a few tentative pictures, however we both think it’s not worth any more effort creating the illustrations until we find someone who might be interested.
Whatever, let’s see what comes out of it.

Next news is…

My 300 vampires story will be published in issue 4 of The Thinking Man’s Crumpet. As soon as it’s out I’ll put the address up here and you can all go out and buy it, lol.
No, just joshing there, however the story will come out in the next issue so I’m very happy about that. There’s no payment but it is something to put down on my woefully thin CV when I send Division off again. It’ll be nice to send my Mam a copy too.

The Editor for the House of Horror online magazine sent me a heart warming email yesterday as well. My story, (The Ides of March) has been pencilled in for issue 10, not issue 9 as I was originally told. Though I do get paid for this work, (the princely sum of 37 dollars I think) it won’t be in print, which I was disappointed about actually.

The thing is that when I sent it off I was under the impression it was an online AND printed magazine. The Duotrope’s Digest, which is a website that lists short story publishers, had House of Horror down as being a print magazine. However, when I asked about swapping my fee for a couple of copies I was told that they only print books on paper, short stories go online.


Ah well, why should it be easy when it can be hard, eh?
The rewrite for Division is going embarrassingly slow, I’m afraid. I can’t seem to find the time. I know it’s a weak excuse but I’m a busy guy, shift worker, Dad, drummer, writer and translator of lyrics… the list goes on. All I can say, (to mollify myself because nobody else needs mollifying) is that I’m on it, it isn’t going away and the cheque’s in the post.

Right, I’m off. Catch you again.

Reg :-)

Sonntag, 7. März 2010

Motherly Love : A short story.

It occurred to me that although I keep wittering on about my writing, you’ve never actually read anything that I’ve written.

So here’s a short 500 word story I sent in for the competition.

I hope you like it, it’s called…                 Motherly love.

The baby’s crying reached through the walls and pulled her out of their room and into the upstairs landing. She stood outside of the nursery not daring to go in, not daring to look.

Would it ever end she asked herself over and over again? Would this nightly torment ever let up?

No, it wouldn’t she knew, for this was her penance, her own private hell for taking a life, for committing the mortal sin of murder.

A tear welled up for all she had lost, how could she have been so stupid?
Would it really have been so bad to be a mother?

She pressed her hands over her ears in an attempt to block the sound out but she could still hear it, still hear the heart wrenching sound of her baby demanding attention; attention she would never be able to give.
In their bedroom her husband slumbered on, sleeping the sleep of the innocent.

She resented the easiness with which he coped with all that had happened but what had she expected? Men are like that. It had been her decision and hers alone. She hadn’t spoken with him about it because she knew he would never understand. Men never do, how can they? They go to work, come home and expect everything to be done for them.

A housewife is on the go from dawn to dusk and when, God forbid, a child comes along then she’s looking after two people, or maybe three or more. Men just don’t see it that way, they want a family, they want to play daddy but it’s the women who carry the burden, not the bloody men.

At the time she had thought she would never cope, that it would just be too much for her to bear. The decision hadn’t been easy but she didn’t see another way out. But now, after the deed had been done, she felt different.

The baby’s cries grew louder, echoing around her head and she closed her eyes in guilt ridden grief and self loathing. Why did she do this to herself every night, why?

The moon shone bright through the window, illuminating her hand hovering over the handle but she didn’t dare touch it. She would never go in, she knew that; but every night she stood outside the door and listened to her lost baby crying, weeping for what might have been.

They could have been a family, they could have been three, but not anymore; she had seen to that.

The bawling grew hysterical, it always did but still she didn’t move; defying her curiosity to go in, though it hurt like hell to do so.

Suddenly the door to their bedroom banged open and Mark walked out, half asleep and mumbling.

She stepped back to let him pass. She was invisible to him at this hour; in the day he sometimes talked to her, or to himself, but mostly he ignored her.

In the cold, silent moonlit corridor she watched mutely as he opened the nursery door.

She knew it would be best to go now but she couldn’t move. She watched as he bent down and picked up the screaming bundle, cooing softly to it.

“There now Sarah, there now,” he hushed into her ear. “I know, I know you want your mummy but she’s in heaven now, she left us to be with Grandma and now it’s only you and me.”

She turned and left, as she always did when he started to cry.

Samstag, 6. März 2010

Back from the land of the Bard, Sheep and Rugby Ball...

Well I’m back! Wales was great, my family are getting on well and it just went from good to brilliant all week. I spent far too much money in the pubs but, ah well, what did I expect? Right, to bizniz!

First off, I didn’t win the competition, sniff…
A lot of people wrote to the website to say they liked the story but the standard of the winner’s stories was very high and I didn’t feel cheated, despite all the encouragement from the other contestants.
The next competition is to write a short about snow and I’ve a doozy of an idea which I can’t wait to start on.

Speaking of websites…
I was supposed to be in print this week but I wasn’t!!!
If you remember, I received my first acceptance email for a magazine and website saying that I would be included in issue 9. Well issue 9 is here but my Ides of March story isn’t to be found in its crinkled innards.

I won’t lie, I was a tad miffed, but I’m over it now.
Anyway, I’ve shot off a quick mail to ask if they’re going to use it and if not, then I’ll send it off to another website that Richard of Struggling Authors sent to me.

I don’t know, it seems we would-be writers are treated as the lowest of the low, doesn’t it?

Yes we want it, we love it… oh we forgot to print it.

What a shambles… lol.

Actually I’m more worried about my 37 Dollars payment…

And it doesn’t stop there!
The band I write for has come up with another two songs for me to scribble lyrics to. Good grief, it’s all go for ginger boy, I can tell you!
However, it’s a labour of love that only my wife could resent so I’m happy.

Right, that’s it for now.

Hwyl fawr!


Mittwoch, 24. Februar 2010

Home, home on the range...

Well, I'm off home tomorrow for a whole week and I can't wait.
So I'll catch you when I return, OK?
Reg :-)

Sonntag, 21. Februar 2010

Competition time.

Well, I gave up on the freaky fable story, I missed the deadline. Well I would have if I had carried on. I started with Goldilocks being a warrior princess who kills three members of a bear cult. Then I scrapped it because it was tosh and not what they were looking for in the first place. The idea is to take a story and write it in such a way that it reads like a horror story, and not change an existing folktale into a horror story. My own fault, I should have read the guidelines properly in the first place.

I didn’t like the story anyway.
Whatever, it’s history, let’s move on Gingerboy, as they say in Angola.

On my manuscript I have to admit to being very lazy recently, I’ve hardly achieved anything.
In my defence, I have been writing lyrics; that’s translating German lyrics to English and scribbling down my own. I’ve a couple of good guitar riffs that I want to write some lines for as well but that will have to wait I’m afraid.

I entered a competition a couple of weeks ago; I can’t believe I haven’t told you. Anyway, it’s had a nice reaction from the other contestants, (some not so unbiased, thanks Rich from ) which doesn’t mean it will win, but it was good for my flagging ego.

The competition itself is run by and the link to the page Competition itself is:*2%2Eana_2256570_1266735278724_3_1

But I’m not sure if you have to be a member to read it.

Click on the link and you’ll find out soon enough ;-)

Yeah, and that’s it for now.

Right, back to the lyrics then.


Reg :-)

Mittwoch, 17. Februar 2010

The Witching Hour draws nigh...

It's five minutes to midnight and I'm shattered. I was on late shift earlier and now I'm plonking keys in front of a very tiresome computer.
Although originally I just wanted to shorten Division, I seem to have let myself be sucked into the story and cannot stop from tweaking bits here and modifying parts there.
Ah well, it's going well though and it's a surprisingly better read than my memory ever gave it credit for. Actually I'm quite chuffed with what I, (and George) did here.
It was your loss Snowbooks... (A case of sour grapes there Reggie? more like a freight train load actually)

Whatever, I'm thinking about taking a break from the manuscript and scribbling down another short story for an anthology of twisted fairy tales. The idea is to take a traditional story and bend it into a horror story. What story to do though?
Any ideas? In fact, don't bother because if it does reach print you'll just demand half of the royalties, (all 10 dollars of it) and I'll be angry and it could wreck our friendship.
So leave it, OK?
Right, I'm off. Have a good week.
Reg :-)

Donnerstag, 11. Februar 2010

The Division of the Damned Reduced and going for a song

So this is the plan.

I’m going to cut Division of the Damned down from 160,000 words to 120;000.
To be honest, it was a bit pie in the sky for me to expect a printing house to accept a manuscript of that size from an unknown author but I wasn’t to know and that’s that.

I mean it’s good, but the “Nu Shakespeare” it is not.

So there’s only one course of action to be taken, well two actually but I’m not going to bin it so therefore, I’ll have to cut it down.
The problem is, which parts do I delete?
Unfortunately the plot is so intertwined with itself that it’s like a four metre wide crossword puzzle and I’m only allowed to pull out the naughty words. What to do, what to do?
Obviously there were certain parts that I knew could be discarded straight away, so they went in the first day. Never the less, I’ve had my work cut out patching up the wounds of the pieces that are a germane to the story.

Basically it’s going to take longer than I thought.
It’s down to 125,000 words with a sprinkling of random vowels and phrases now but I’m not happy. Ideally it would be nice to drop it to 110,000 but, well I’m being ridiculous there, that won’t ever happen.

My next large project, the dinosaur book is going to ceiling at 90,000 and that’s that. No ifs and buts, 90’s the limit, take it or leave it Gingerboy!
Alas, that’s all in the future because for now, I’m tied up in the realms of the SS, vampire soldiers and do-gooder Russians and Werewolves.
I hope one day to see you there too.

Take it easy

Reg :-)

PS. What do you think of the layout? It’s dark but not overly so… or am I being a divvy?

Mittwoch, 10. Februar 2010

OK, I've changed it and I don't hate it too much...

OK, I've changed it and I don't hate it too much now.
I thought the black look was OK due to the SS connection but now I've renamed it it looks... OK, sort of.

Whatever, it's staying this way now until at least till tomorrow.
Reg :-)

I've changed it and I hate it...

I've changed it and I hate it...

I'll have another go tomorrow, I'm tired now.

Montag, 8. Februar 2010

A new name, a new Blog?

I'm losing interest in my Blog name and I'm thinking about either changing it, or if that doesn't work, then starting a new Blog.
Any thoughts on the matter peeps?

Reg :-)

Montag, 1. Februar 2010

Regimental Reunion, Wolfenbüttel 2010.

This has nothing to do with my writing odyssey but I thought I’d write something about my old regiment and my relationship to it.

In case you didn’t know, I was once a soldier. I left school at 16 and joined the army to see the world and kill people.
Luckily I only managed the first half of that last statement of intent, but for seven and a half years I was employed by her Majesty the Queen to guard the frontiers of democracy against the Communist threat and impress the local German population with my drinking prowess and pathetic chat up lines.

I left the army in January 91 after meeting the future Mrs Jones and stayed in Germany, the rest is history.
I never felt any real close bond to my old regiment, 1st the Queen’s Dragoon Guards and was more than happy to leave that chapter in my life behind me. I made new friends and though I worked as a civilian for the army for the nine years after I left, I didn’t bother trying to keep in touch.

I watched my old unit from afar, tutting and shaking my head or nodding in approval at the people I saw rising through the ranks to go on to become the Colonels and RSMs of the Regiment. However, that was as far as my interest went; I was a civvy and had my own life to lead, my own plans and hopes and QDG was an all but forgotten period in my life.

It was the invasion of Kosovo that changed my ideas.
Kosovo, the break away Serbian state that demanded independence due to its large Albanian population was a where the Cold War finally came to ahead. For the first time NATO and ex-Warsaw Pact armies would face each other on the battlefield and my old unit, QDG was at the vanguard of the NATO advance.
I couldn’t read enough about it.

The first Gulf War was a wash out. After bombing the crap out of the unfortunate Iraqi army for 3 weeks, (or something like that), the coalition moved in. Though there were losses, the Iraqi ground forces had suffered so much from the enemy bombardment that resistance was negligible and there were more problems with how to house and feed the thousands of prisoners than there were with mopping up the resistance. The war came and went but I could only concentrate on my new drum set and the plans I had for world domination through the power of my drumming...

However Kosovo fired my imagination. The Serbian government had issued statements saying that they will not give Kosovo up. The Russian extremist Vladimir Zhirinovsky told Western reporters that if NATO attacked Serbia then Russia would roll over Western Europe. It was hot stuff and I was glued to my television as the build up around the confrontation grew. And at the heart of my interest was the regiment I had all but forgotten about.

1999 was also the year that, for the first time since leaving, I thought to myself, “What have I done with my life?”

I was working at DPD, (starting at 4 AM) in the mornings and then in the afternoon I worked the buiding sites. I had just left my band, which had kept alive all my hopes in life and was stuck in a rut which saw me getting up at 0330 and then sometimes working through until eight or nine at night, just to get by and pay my bills. I grew my first grey hair in this year, so of course, the blithe, unfettered days of QDG and all that I had left behind played a large role in my thoughts.

History shows that nothing happened. Just as the first Gulf War had been decided by airpower, NATO bombs broke the will of the Serbian military and government. Never the less, my interest in my old regiment had been awakened.
Since 1999 I have kept in contact with my former employers. I’m in the Regimental Comrades Association and have found, through Facebook a whole Squadron of ex military buddies who had simply vanished from my radar.

The weekend just gone saw a group of lads from the Sergent’s and Officer’s mess come down to Wolfenbüttel to visit tour old haunts.
The faces I knew then as young troopers are all now senior NCOs and Officers but the banter hadn’t changed and it sent me back to those carefree, happier days when my only goal in life was to get on the ale with the lads and see my wagon through its next inspection.

It was great to see the unit that I left all those many moons ago still has a vibrant zest for the ridiculous and wanton in these all too sad days of political correctness and I hope to have more contact with the lads of 1st the Queen’s Dragoon Guards..

Pro Rege et Patria is the regimental motto, but as my mate Steve Burman once wrote, “Pro Rege et Patria but Pro Quaffing’s the norm.”

Who are you, who are you?

The Blue Army.

Reg :-)

Mittwoch, 27. Januar 2010

What to call it?

Don’t let anybody ever say that I’m not industrious.

I’ve just written a 10300 word story inside of five days and it’s good too. No really, I’m very happy with it. Obviously I’ll have to go over it again and again and again before I’m 100% satisfied but for all intents and purposes the story is down, long live the story.

I just haven’t got a name for it yet.
I sent it to Andreas, the guy who’s going to be illustrating it and he seemed pleased with it. I’m really looking forward to seeing what he’s going to come up with by way of illustrations, he’s an excellent artist, (whereas I'm an excellent p### artist).

This poorly ankle lark isn’t too bad after all. I hated it for the first couple of days but one can really get used to being waited on hand and foot.
Tiffy, (my wife) even told me off the other day for going to fetch myself a drink… luxury lad, luxury…
The doctor told me another two weeks at least, possibly three if I think I shouldn’t go to work.

Three it is then, eh?

Three weeks of writing, sorted.
It’s hard to believe people are paid to spend their entire time sitting in front of a computer writing whereas I have to chop my foot off to do it. Bah.

What went wrong with my life?

Right, I’ve wittered on enough, I’m going to rewrite the 300 Vampires story now, wish me luck.

Reg :-)

Mittwoch, 20. Januar 2010

Hi8 to DVD and pulled ligaments.

So, here I am, my foot in a splint and weeks off work to look forward to.

What happened?

I wish I knew. My good woman managed to drive our car into a pile of snow, I went to help push the car out and it seems I pulled a ligament… or even worse!
Whatever, self pity aside, at least I have time now to record all of our old tapes of the kids onto DVD and do some writing, which is what I’m doing right now.

The illustrated story is coming on, I’m 3000 words into it and going strong, (if the meter had been a tad looser I would have called that a nice little couplet). The good thing is that I can concentrate on dialogue and action, rather than trying to set the scene for the reader because the scene is already pictured for them. Convenience in prose is far too often overlooked in my eye… ;-)

I am also burning all the old Hi8 cassettes we filmed of the kids onto DVD.
I know the whole world is now Blu-ray but I’m not so live with it; can’t afford it to be honest.

You tend to forget how cute your own kids were as babies. Their love was unconditional and didn’t depend on what you could do for them; they simply loved you because you were their world. Nowadays I hear, “I hate you, I love you” more times than a couple of newly wed lesbians suffering from PMS. Mood swings are a whole way of life for hormonally challenged teenagers and my kids are only 12 !!!

It does not bode well for the next couple of years.

Whatever, I’ll survive.
Right, I’m off to do some burning and writing.

Reg :-)

Samstag, 16. Januar 2010

If at first you don’t succeed...

As if that bitter harridan Lady Fate hasn’t dumped enough misery on me already…

After spending a good three hours clearing the path to our carport of snow and then driving up and down the said path four times to make sure it was drivable, Mrs. Jones, (God bless her cotton socks) managed to bog our car down in the only pile of snow next to the path.
As gallant as I am, I immediately dashed out to help push the car out of the snow and in the process I hurt my ankle… and now it’s bloody killing me.

I may have to go to the Docs with it and I hate going to the doctors. Bah.

Anyway, that aside, I’ve started the illustrated story now and I’m very happy with the plot. 680 words down, only another 10-15000 to go, lol. Whatever, it’s going to Rock, I know it.

I also sent off a short story that I had lounging around on my hard drive, to the prestigious, “Weird Tales” magazine.

“Founded in 1923, Weird Tales quickly became the chief source for many types of fantastic fiction over a substantial portion of the 20th century; it helped launch the careers of imaginative authors as wildly diverse as H.P. Lovecraft, Ray Bradbury and Tennessee Williams. The present incarnation has been published continuously since 1988 — and today, we are trying to be what Weird Tales might have become if it had continued from 1923 to the present uninterrupted.”

Well that’s what it say’s on the website and I believe them.

Imagine my work in such a celebrated magazine as Weird Tales; I mean even I’ve heard of them!
It won’t happen but you have to try.

If at first you don’t succeed, look to put the blame on someone else and have another go, right kids?

Right Reg.
Have a good weekend.

Reg :-/

Dienstag, 12. Januar 2010


  After a year of waiting I finally received the email I’ve been dreading.

“Dear Mr. Jones,
You suck you loser, we hate your work and we hate you.”

OK, that’s not the actual wording but that’s how I read it.

So “Division” serves me up yet another soul crippling dose of exclusion. Bah.
The question is, what now Dear Reader?

Right, firstly let’s get this show on the road with Andreas. I spent all last night thinking up a plot, in fact I had two but I binned one and I’m happy with the one I’m left with.
Obviously the bare bones of a story won’t do and the plot and characters need to be fleshed out, but that comes with time.

I’ll then go back to “Division”. At 160,000 words it is a tad long, (I read somewhere that for a first book the publishers prefer around 120,000) so I’ll shorten it and tighten up the middle part while I’m at it. It is definitely the weakest element of the story so it’s spark a brain cell time and rework his flabby butt.

Then it’s back to my 300 vampires story, sort that out and send it to my editor friend.

Tee babes, before you suggest it, I’m not going to send it to Authonomy… yet. If all else fails I will but not yet. You’ve had success with it and I’m glad but I simply haven’t the time to read other people’s manuscripts on top of working shifts in a steelworks, being Dad in a family, playing drums in a band AND writing my own stuff… put like that, it’s no wonder I’m so knackered all the time, lol.

Well that’s it peeps. I’m gutted but not broken and I have a plan… a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a fox, (I love Blackadder).

Take it easy, I won’t.

Reg :-/

Montag, 11. Januar 2010

Birthday antics and a surprising turn of events.

Sorry I’ve been a way so long but I have no excuse so don’t ask and I won’t tell any lies, lol.

So let’s start with my birthday.
On Friday the 8th of January I, along with Elvis, Shirley Bassey and Elton John celebrated my birthday. I am now a young 43 years old, going on 12.
I spent the Friday with the family, (watching Avatar at the pictures and then a big nosh up at Burger King) and Saturday at my mates place quaffing whiskey and beer until I passed out. Not a very noble way of bidding my 42nd year a fond good bye but a much needed vent for my baser instincts as a bloke.

I still feel bloody awful now though.

Anyway, to bizniz.
Well something has turned up out of the blue that has really fired my imagination. A good friend of mine has a cartoon of himself for his Facebook profile picture. Because it’s so good I asked him who created it and he put me in contact with a certain Andreas Rensen Aguion.

My idea is to write a novelette of about 10-15000 words and have Andreas illustrate it. He liked the idea of Division, (i.e. Vampires working for the Third Reich) so now I’m crafting up a story that involves the same ingredients.

I’m not sure what the market is like for this type of thing but I’m completely gripped with the whole project and I really hope it comes together.

His style is something along the lines of the artwork in the link he sent me:

And I think it’ll work nicely.

Anyway, that’s that. I only need to conjure up a good story about vampires and the Third Reich and we’re away.

Sadly The Eckton Empire will take a back seat now but it isn’t forgotten and definitely not going to be binned. Gulag may also be re-awakened if the publishers get back to me on Division.

Why am I so up on everything now?
I don’t know either but it’s a good feeling.

Reg :-)

Samstag, 2. Januar 2010

Christmas 2009, New Year 2010 and the many moods of the Colwyn Quaffer

I’m not a moody person but I am a man of moods.

Does that make sense?

I do generally tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, (or more like on my chest like one of those awful, gaudy broaches that Grandmothers used to wear in the 70`s), and so when I’m up, I’m UP and conversely when I’m down, I’m DOWN.

I think it’s called manic depression actually but I don’t like to consider the possibility that I may be mentally unstable, so I’ll just live in denial and potter on with my moods.

The month or so leading up to Christmas I was sort of on a down slope. A couple of things had happened, work was getting to me and then Gerd passed away and it all conspired to put me into a nosedive that an Acapulco Cliff Diver would blanch at.

Then came Chrimbo.

I don’t know why but it was GREAT! Honestly, it was a doozy. I worked night shift on Christmas Eve but that really was the only minor blight on the festivities.

Even the Christmas Eve church service I was press ganged into attending by my wife and daughter was nice.


I mean lawks a lordy, insane or what?

The kids loved their pressies, my wife loved her pressies, we just ALL loved our pressies. There was no fighting among the kids, they ate well at the Christmas Dinner and played contentedly with their new “whatever-we-bought-them” while I played with my crate of beer, X Files series 9 DVD boxset and new mobile phone.

I really, really enjoyed Christmas despite having to work and I don’t even know why, isn’t that just so cool?

However, it doesn’t stop there.

For some inexplicable reason it set me up on a wave of exuberance that could have swamped Manhattan Island. I mean, it was lunacy! All the minor poo that tangled up my life just fell by the wayside as I casually laughed off the minor dramas that once, pre-Yuletide, seemed like the torments of Prometheus.

Christmas did me a power of good, as the saying goes, and that’s the way it should be.

New Year’s Eve was nice, however I woke up on the 1st of Jan to more snow than an Arabian indoor ski resort, a broken down heating system and a hangover that could have struck a straight seven on the Richter scale. Not the best of starts to the new decade but what the hell, it can only get better, right kids?

Right Reg.

So anyway, here’s to a vigorous 2010 to us all, with health and riches being the goal of the next 365 days, lol.