Mittwoch, 27. Januar 2010

What to call it?

Don’t let anybody ever say that I’m not industrious.

I’ve just written a 10300 word story inside of five days and it’s good too. No really, I’m very happy with it. Obviously I’ll have to go over it again and again and again before I’m 100% satisfied but for all intents and purposes the story is down, long live the story.

I just haven’t got a name for it yet.
I sent it to Andreas, the guy who’s going to be illustrating it and he seemed pleased with it. I’m really looking forward to seeing what he’s going to come up with by way of illustrations, he’s an excellent artist, (whereas I'm an excellent p### artist).

This poorly ankle lark isn’t too bad after all. I hated it for the first couple of days but one can really get used to being waited on hand and foot.
Tiffy, (my wife) even told me off the other day for going to fetch myself a drink… luxury lad, luxury…
The doctor told me another two weeks at least, possibly three if I think I shouldn’t go to work.

Three it is then, eh?

Three weeks of writing, sorted.
It’s hard to believe people are paid to spend their entire time sitting in front of a computer writing whereas I have to chop my foot off to do it. Bah.

What went wrong with my life?

Right, I’ve wittered on enough, I’m going to rewrite the 300 Vampires story now, wish me luck.

Reg :-)

Mittwoch, 20. Januar 2010

Hi8 to DVD and pulled ligaments.

So, here I am, my foot in a splint and weeks off work to look forward to.

What happened?

I wish I knew. My good woman managed to drive our car into a pile of snow, I went to help push the car out and it seems I pulled a ligament… or even worse!
Whatever, self pity aside, at least I have time now to record all of our old tapes of the kids onto DVD and do some writing, which is what I’m doing right now.

The illustrated story is coming on, I’m 3000 words into it and going strong, (if the meter had been a tad looser I would have called that a nice little couplet). The good thing is that I can concentrate on dialogue and action, rather than trying to set the scene for the reader because the scene is already pictured for them. Convenience in prose is far too often overlooked in my eye… ;-)

I am also burning all the old Hi8 cassettes we filmed of the kids onto DVD.
I know the whole world is now Blu-ray but I’m not so live with it; can’t afford it to be honest.

You tend to forget how cute your own kids were as babies. Their love was unconditional and didn’t depend on what you could do for them; they simply loved you because you were their world. Nowadays I hear, “I hate you, I love you” more times than a couple of newly wed lesbians suffering from PMS. Mood swings are a whole way of life for hormonally challenged teenagers and my kids are only 12 !!!

It does not bode well for the next couple of years.

Whatever, I’ll survive.
Right, I’m off to do some burning and writing.

Reg :-)

Samstag, 16. Januar 2010

If at first you don’t succeed...

As if that bitter harridan Lady Fate hasn’t dumped enough misery on me already…

After spending a good three hours clearing the path to our carport of snow and then driving up and down the said path four times to make sure it was drivable, Mrs. Jones, (God bless her cotton socks) managed to bog our car down in the only pile of snow next to the path.
As gallant as I am, I immediately dashed out to help push the car out of the snow and in the process I hurt my ankle… and now it’s bloody killing me.

I may have to go to the Docs with it and I hate going to the doctors. Bah.

Anyway, that aside, I’ve started the illustrated story now and I’m very happy with the plot. 680 words down, only another 10-15000 to go, lol. Whatever, it’s going to Rock, I know it.

I also sent off a short story that I had lounging around on my hard drive, to the prestigious, “Weird Tales” magazine.

“Founded in 1923, Weird Tales quickly became the chief source for many types of fantastic fiction over a substantial portion of the 20th century; it helped launch the careers of imaginative authors as wildly diverse as H.P. Lovecraft, Ray Bradbury and Tennessee Williams. The present incarnation has been published continuously since 1988 — and today, we are trying to be what Weird Tales might have become if it had continued from 1923 to the present uninterrupted.”

Well that’s what it say’s on the website and I believe them.

Imagine my work in such a celebrated magazine as Weird Tales; I mean even I’ve heard of them!
It won’t happen but you have to try.

If at first you don’t succeed, look to put the blame on someone else and have another go, right kids?

Right Reg.
Have a good weekend.

Reg :-/

Dienstag, 12. Januar 2010


  After a year of waiting I finally received the email I’ve been dreading.

“Dear Mr. Jones,
You suck you loser, we hate your work and we hate you.”

OK, that’s not the actual wording but that’s how I read it.

So “Division” serves me up yet another soul crippling dose of exclusion. Bah.
The question is, what now Dear Reader?

Right, firstly let’s get this show on the road with Andreas. I spent all last night thinking up a plot, in fact I had two but I binned one and I’m happy with the one I’m left with.
Obviously the bare bones of a story won’t do and the plot and characters need to be fleshed out, but that comes with time.

I’ll then go back to “Division”. At 160,000 words it is a tad long, (I read somewhere that for a first book the publishers prefer around 120,000) so I’ll shorten it and tighten up the middle part while I’m at it. It is definitely the weakest element of the story so it’s spark a brain cell time and rework his flabby butt.

Then it’s back to my 300 vampires story, sort that out and send it to my editor friend.

Tee babes, before you suggest it, I’m not going to send it to Authonomy… yet. If all else fails I will but not yet. You’ve had success with it and I’m glad but I simply haven’t the time to read other people’s manuscripts on top of working shifts in a steelworks, being Dad in a family, playing drums in a band AND writing my own stuff… put like that, it’s no wonder I’m so knackered all the time, lol.

Well that’s it peeps. I’m gutted but not broken and I have a plan… a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a fox, (I love Blackadder).

Take it easy, I won’t.

Reg :-/

Montag, 11. Januar 2010

Birthday antics and a surprising turn of events.

Sorry I’ve been a way so long but I have no excuse so don’t ask and I won’t tell any lies, lol.

So let’s start with my birthday.
On Friday the 8th of January I, along with Elvis, Shirley Bassey and Elton John celebrated my birthday. I am now a young 43 years old, going on 12.
I spent the Friday with the family, (watching Avatar at the pictures and then a big nosh up at Burger King) and Saturday at my mates place quaffing whiskey and beer until I passed out. Not a very noble way of bidding my 42nd year a fond good bye but a much needed vent for my baser instincts as a bloke.

I still feel bloody awful now though.

Anyway, to bizniz.
Well something has turned up out of the blue that has really fired my imagination. A good friend of mine has a cartoon of himself for his Facebook profile picture. Because it’s so good I asked him who created it and he put me in contact with a certain Andreas Rensen Aguion.

My idea is to write a novelette of about 10-15000 words and have Andreas illustrate it. He liked the idea of Division, (i.e. Vampires working for the Third Reich) so now I’m crafting up a story that involves the same ingredients.

I’m not sure what the market is like for this type of thing but I’m completely gripped with the whole project and I really hope it comes together.

His style is something along the lines of the artwork in the link he sent me:

And I think it’ll work nicely.

Anyway, that’s that. I only need to conjure up a good story about vampires and the Third Reich and we’re away.

Sadly The Eckton Empire will take a back seat now but it isn’t forgotten and definitely not going to be binned. Gulag may also be re-awakened if the publishers get back to me on Division.

Why am I so up on everything now?
I don’t know either but it’s a good feeling.

Reg :-)

Samstag, 2. Januar 2010

Christmas 2009, New Year 2010 and the many moods of the Colwyn Quaffer

I’m not a moody person but I am a man of moods.

Does that make sense?

I do generally tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, (or more like on my chest like one of those awful, gaudy broaches that Grandmothers used to wear in the 70`s), and so when I’m up, I’m UP and conversely when I’m down, I’m DOWN.

I think it’s called manic depression actually but I don’t like to consider the possibility that I may be mentally unstable, so I’ll just live in denial and potter on with my moods.

The month or so leading up to Christmas I was sort of on a down slope. A couple of things had happened, work was getting to me and then Gerd passed away and it all conspired to put me into a nosedive that an Acapulco Cliff Diver would blanch at.

Then came Chrimbo.

I don’t know why but it was GREAT! Honestly, it was a doozy. I worked night shift on Christmas Eve but that really was the only minor blight on the festivities.

Even the Christmas Eve church service I was press ganged into attending by my wife and daughter was nice.


I mean lawks a lordy, insane or what?

The kids loved their pressies, my wife loved her pressies, we just ALL loved our pressies. There was no fighting among the kids, they ate well at the Christmas Dinner and played contentedly with their new “whatever-we-bought-them” while I played with my crate of beer, X Files series 9 DVD boxset and new mobile phone.

I really, really enjoyed Christmas despite having to work and I don’t even know why, isn’t that just so cool?

However, it doesn’t stop there.

For some inexplicable reason it set me up on a wave of exuberance that could have swamped Manhattan Island. I mean, it was lunacy! All the minor poo that tangled up my life just fell by the wayside as I casually laughed off the minor dramas that once, pre-Yuletide, seemed like the torments of Prometheus.

Christmas did me a power of good, as the saying goes, and that’s the way it should be.

New Year’s Eve was nice, however I woke up on the 1st of Jan to more snow than an Arabian indoor ski resort, a broken down heating system and a hangover that could have struck a straight seven on the Richter scale. Not the best of starts to the new decade but what the hell, it can only get better, right kids?

Right Reg.

So anyway, here’s to a vigorous 2010 to us all, with health and riches being the goal of the next 365 days, lol.